Hearts Unspoken; 1st Run

It was the strangest feeling. Normally once a show is up and running, a show I feel proud of, I enjoy this great, clean sense of floating for a little while, a pure and wholesome confidence. But as Hearts Unspoken came to the end of it's run this feeling never caught.

I've heard people say it is a white man's sickness.

It's been a month now since the show went up and I have to apologise for not writing anything on here since. It has been in part a matter of logistics; house moves, university courses starting and a bumpy ride setting up the internet. But also it has taken time to make sense of the sheer complexity of emotion that I felt as the play drew to a close.

Certain things must not be spoken of...

  

On the train back down to London I felt I understood Arthur Miller's comment that the worst part of writing a play was handing it over to the director. Whilst I may have been that director, there always comes a painful point when you realise you are no longer really needed and the actors and stage technicians have taken charge. But this is normal, why did I feel it so strangely dejected this time round?

 It’s a gay club, gay people come here!

After all a couple of days after the show closed I was writing an email to one of the interviewees about how things had gone, and was realising what a success it had been. We sold out our four night run, we gained two excellent and encouraging reviews (One in The Herald and one in The Scotsman). We had an excellent after show discussion with Patrick Harvie M.S.P., Sam Rankin of the Equality Network, Joe Brady of the Scottish Refugee Council and Max, a Glasgow based refugee. We also gained great audience feedback, from the forms returned 85% rated the show as highly engaging and informative. Perhaps the most important factor however was that we raised £330 for House of Rainbow and Iraqi L.G.B.T., which was brilliant and I have to thank everyone for their contribution.

The main gate of the house was locked and I was not allowed to leave.
Effectively I was being held captive there. 

Over the next couple of weeks as I began to see how in these last days of the run what was affecting me so badly was a feeling of finality, that this project was over, but by then I had realised that it is not over. I absolutely cannot stop pushing this play forward. Working on it, developing it and bringing the issues in to the public arena. 

 When I’m first coming in united kingdom
That time, you know you see
One baby born,

Me I think myself,
I have a new life
I was happy
Any bad thing they do me there
I forget it. 

A couple of days ago I met one of the guys I interviewed for the play. "Where is the pleasure in life if you're are not involved in a struggle?" he asked me, rhetorically. "And I have loved being part of this struggle," I said.

Your claim has been considered, but for the reasons give below it has been concluded you do not qualify for asylum.

On Friday I went along to House of Rainbow to give them the £165 donation.There is always something that moves me in the meeting I have attend at House of Rainbow. A member of the congregation shyly stood and sang a spiritual in a beautifully sonorous baritone, then the minister told us of one of their regular members is currently in detention, whilst he recently escaped deportation, a vast amount had to be done to aid him. Later a beautiful young woman stood up, and told us with a stunning smile, that she had just been awarded her papers this week thanks to the help House of Rainbow had given her. It was so powerful to see where the money is going to go. To see how spreading information and understand of LGBT asylum issues will help bring support to more and more people. And I think, for me, it gave me absolute clarity as to why I want to create work like Hearts Unspoken, and I enjoy that feeling.

When I think about Iraqi love,
I think about the little… fear,
The little bit of shyness when we meet…
That little romance when we smile to each other from a distance
and have that kind of shy look
and it takes time to meet.
In a culture where human interaction is more than just a touch,
is more just a smile,
a nice sit
have a shisha or have something
A warm chat about things and then this is where things develop.
And it’s very magical in away.
I know, it’s going to sound very romantic,
but it’s the secret beauty of life where you… you… you have certain magic about things…
That, you don’t want to loose.  

(Thanks to Colin and Rachel for the pictures)